I went to my polling place first thing this morning to cast a vote in the Democratic primary for Hillary Clinton. I had been to my caucus last week and supported her though the majority of my precinct people were for Obama. I was the only one at my polling place at about 9:30 this morning and it made me wonder whether there would be much of a turnout, given that this was just a "beauty contest," since all the delegates will be alloted based on the caucus results. I think that Barack would make a fantastic president; so why did I vote for Hillary? The short answer is that I think she would make a fantastic president too. Certainly compared to the current office holder. But to actually explain why I am so proud to have supported Hillary--I should say why am so proud that I got the chance to vote for her-- I have to say some things about my life, and my wife.
I promised my wife that when I started this diary on DKos that I would not say anything about her. She can speak for herself. And I sure as hell did not vote for Hillary because I thought my wife wanted me to. But to be perfectly honest I have to say that my voting for Hillary had something to do with my wife, or rather with our history together. We have been married for forty-three years and we met in high school. That will give you some idea of what our relationship must have been like when we married in 1964. We knew nothing about a woman's movement, and our roles in marriage were pretty traditional at first (though we were both in grad school) so in a way not too traditional.
Then the changes started. Women in our classes started speaking up (pretty embarrassing at first)about the dismissive attitude of some of our (male) professors at Purdue to women scholars in our field. I just did not get where they were coming from. On the home front, the first time I tried to cook dinner I put a TV dinner in the toaster oven and turned it on. The smoke told me that maybe I should have taken it out of its cardboard box. Get the picture? And we both started to change. Little by little we learned that we could be partners doing equal work in our home. Little by little we learned that my wife could go back to grad school and get her PhD. after she gave birth to our two children.We scrimped and our kids did without many things, but she got her degree and a great teaching job and, subsequently, a great career as a prof.
All these changes happened one day at a time, one dollar at a time, one awakening at a time (for both of us). We literally lived through and were ourselves a social revolution. When we were young, there were practically no women professors, or lawyers, or doctors, or engineers, or fire fighters, or plumbers, or construction workers. A woman could get access to abortion services only if she was from a rich family. My mother almost fainted the first time she saw me fry an egg.
And neither one of us thought that we would ever get to vote for a woman for President. Never. Or if we thought there was a remote chance, we were sure it would have to be a conservative Republican. Ugh. But still... And today I am thinking that this is probably the only chance in my lifetime I will have to make that vote, (except for maybe Michelle Obama, but I am already 65 years old and she's a long way off). So that's why I felt so very proud of my Democratic party, that all of you in the party have made this day possible for me. And proud of Senator Clinton who made this day possible for me. When I see her speaking on television, I want to reach out and touch her face, or have her see me here in my living room, because I feel such a strong connection to what she represents to me.
Do I know that there are millions of people in America who feel about senator Obama the way I feel about her? Yes I certainly do know that. And I honor and respect the way these fellow Democrats feel. Do I realize that the feelings I am talking about here are less significant that the important policy and character distinctions between the candidates? I do indeed. But all I have is me and all I can tell about is why I feel the way I do and all I know about the reason I support Hillary Clinton is that I feel as though, when I do, I am supporting and affirming what has given my own life much of what meaning it has.